They said that "It was OK to cry...."
Few days ago, when i heard the news from you...a kind of negative feeling pop into me.
It's some kind of feelings which i couldn't express with words...
It all started with a click...
I was in my blog tat afternoon, as i scroll down my blog,
the word "Buddies Blog" caught my attention,
then this came to my mind...
"Its been quite sometime since i've last view my friend's blog...why not peep into it to know what's happening to them lately.."
and so, i started from the top...Anna's blog
its still the same black looky like.. but wat catches my attention was the word
"Architecture Vs Bioinformatic"
I read through the entire blog and...
"Wat? Anna is leaving?" i questioned myself...everything happens so suddenly. Few months before, i knew that Anna will be leaving for Uni, its either in KL or somewhere else... but i just can't tell why am i so surprise to receive that news. My emo was kinda out of control... i can feel tat there is just some kind of unknown feeling in me... a kind of sad feeling i should say, as if someone is leaving me... then only i realise that the other friends of mine are leaving too...
Hook up with Lilian in MSN, ask her bout her uni application stuff....and so it happens that she is leaving for her Uni in JOHOR too...oh dear...k. At this point, i started accepting the fact that they are leaving. However, the sad feeling remains. My heart cries...
I receive news from different people that most of them are leaving this weekend:
ANNA - UMS or UniMAS
Lilian - UTM, Johor
Wen Yan - Penang
Lien Yiny - Sabah
"*the rest din get any offer...gd news, u get to stay...bad news, no offer to uni..."
After getting the news...i planned to organise a farewell party for them. But it turned up to be a FAILURE. Time doesn't match...Wen Yan is leaving on Fri night, they've got another farewell on thursday, shi yeong and i are both busy on wednesday...and so...
Reasons??
I just don't know why... but i couldn't give a reason on why i would take the initiative to organize a party. It's the first time i'm doing this... before that, i'll nvr organise one. Perhaps what i could say is tat "I DO MISS THEM A LOT"....the fun with them, the noise, the craze, the momories that couldn't be erased off from my mind.. will jz remain in me.
The answer...
Organising a party? I've failed to do so...perhaps God's asking me not to meet up with them, as i can foresee that tears will rumble down my cheek the moment we say goodbye, its quite embarressing rite?
Friendship that should be appreciate...
We're not really close friends... neither hi-bye friends....'moderate' will be the word. But one thing for sure..the moment that we've cherished, things that u've done for me, the kindness from u that gaves me the warm feeling... will remain in me forever. A great friendship that i'll never forget for life.
Appreciate...
We're always told to appreciate someone when we they are with us. I listened, kept tat in mind at all times...but i never get the kind of feeling to appreciate friends until tat day...I've changed.. Friends... are like one of the most important things to me. I felt something leaving me - FRIENDSHIP. We may say that 'we'll keep in touch', 'friend's forever', 'forget me not' etc. but deep inside me...i knew tat it wouldn't end up so perfectly. We maybe 100% friends for now... few years later when ur back... i couldn't imagine where our friendship will be, 50%? 30? or less?
The distance...the lifestyle...
Would everything turn up to be jz so dissapointing?
Will our friendship last?
Will you remain to be who you are now?
From:
Smacking each other's back
To:
"Hi-Bye" friends...
From:
Tickling each other
To:
"Hi-Bye" friends...
From:
Laughing at each other
To:
"Hi-Bye" friends...
From:
Talking over the same interest for hours
To:
"Hi-Bye" friends...
From:
SMS-ing overnight
To:
"Hi-Bye" friends...
From:
Going out together as a gang
To:
"Hi-Bye" friends...
From:
Skating partners
To:
"Hi-Bye" friends...
Will all these just happen fewyears later?? Will everything turn out to be just as wat i've mentioned?
A tragic in my friendship.... which i've never wanted.
Being me...all i can do is jz to wait, and pray for our friendship to last for life... *sigh..
Amen.
My words...
"I'm grateful that God allow us to meet up,
make you as one of my friend.
I've regretted for not appreciating
the days, the laughter, the craze, the memory
that we had cherished...
To be honest, you've really bright up
my secondary school life..
We may not know each other deeply,
exchange secrets, cry on each other's shoulder,
hug each other for no reason, sleep over at each other's house...
but certaintly...you're still at the top list of my Besties...
and lastly
I'LL MISS YOU FOREVER...
the one and only friend that i'll never forget."
with love,
Rebecca Lau Yan Leng.
